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The Results

The Results

According to Anders Carlsson the average number of entries across the past 18 iterations of the comp.sys.sinclair Crap Games Competition is 53.222.


As we discussed in the Mid-Year Review we got off to a strong start with 34 submissions by end of June.

This was followed by a consistent trickle between July and October, a nominal increase in November and, finally, an impressive surge in December to round off the year.

By the end we'd had a total of 57 entries meaning we're officially just-above-average!

But I'm sure you didn't come here just to hear the statistics? How about we get to the business of announcing this year's winners starting off with the Challenges?

Flash FX Challenge Winners

PIXBIT and the maze of deadly monsters

Our first challenge, set back in February, was to use the FLASH (or other ZX attribute-block fiddling) to produce the best effect and we had a great response - so much so I've broken this into two sub-categories...

Loaders and Logos

Within this category people either took the Manic Miner loading screen$ reference literally, or applied a brash colourful effect to a chunky menu-based logo.

Horace Goes Peeing

My overall favourite was Pixbit and the maze of deadly monsters by R Tape, followed closely by Divide (Anders Carlsson) and Dillon's Cap Caper (MatGubbins.)


This sub-category was for people who created neat in-game special FX and, right up until the end of the year, Paul 'Eq' Collins had it in the bag between SotB and Yes Dear.

At the last minute, however, Lee Tonks stole the prize for his smooth colour fades in Horace Goes Peeing.

Demakes Challenge Winner


The next challenge was announce in April but, despite a number of contributors intending to submit something, ended up with more abandoned entries than completed ones.

I'm still hoping we'll see embarrassingly late ZX conversions of Skyrim and FileZilla in next year's competition, however, Haiku by catmeows wins by default, given it's the only entry that even vaguely fulfils the brief, and that cheap ZX81 conversions done by me don't count!

I probably should have mentioned it earlier - a share of my £623874834 winnings from Dongee Con were up for grabs - but it's too late anyway as I've already spent the lot!

The Worst Game in the World Restoration Challenge Winner

Jump off a Cliff Simulator

We had to wait 8 months for the final challenge, in which you were invited to recreate some of the lost games of Sinclair User's 1988 pre-CSSCGC Crap Games Competition. (In fact I wish we'd had another two months or so on this - as it got a really good response!)

As a work colleague "Ed Raven" was exempt from winning (or losing) the competition, however, I think we can allow him a moment of glory for Jump Off a Cliff Simulator.

To quote fellow WGitWRC challenger MatGubbins (again;) "Just look at all those PRINT statements - 1st Prize just for all that effort."

Miscellaneous Awards

A few special mentions before we announce the big results?

Longest Title

Harry the Baby Saves the World With His Amazing Water Pistol (Andrew Green) wins this award for the second time in 26 years!

The Immaculate Concept(ion) Award


I cannot stress enough how much I loved the All-Key-Tester/Presser by Pgyuri/WSS!

Such a brilliant idea accompanied by so much supporting material - the effort that went into this was very much appreciated, thanks.

The Cream of the Crap Award

Similarly, for its beautifully simple concept and that it made me laugh and choke on a cup of tea, Andrew Green's Good Nights Sleep Simulator is one of my favourites of the year.

The Useless Utilities Award

Bob's New Kidney

This could easily have gone to Andrew Green's Ultimate ZX Spectrum Games Designer - which it turned out didn't even come close to working - but I had to spend weeks getting something resembling 'art' out of Arty Pants by R Tape and that pain will stick with me for years to come.

The Good Citizen Award

One last plug for Bob's New Kidney by Bellend Software. Sign up for organ donation and they promise not to write a sequel!

The Overall Winner/Loser

Finally it's onto the awards we've all been waiting for...

The Best Entry

Shadow of the Beef

With outstanding presentation throughout; Shadow of the Beef (Paul 'Eq.' Collins) delighted me both visually and aurally (Oo-er - Ed.)

It also happened to be rollicking good fun to play and so has the dubious honour of being the best game of the year - causing you to wonder if 'Eq.' understood the rules of the competition at all?*

* Entering Yes Dear and Brad: The Game confirm that he did.

The other nominees were Bob's New Kidney (Bellend Software,) Hobohemia (Steve McCrea) and the inspired All Key Tester/Presser (Pgyuri/WSS.)

The Crappest Entry

Advanced London Marathon Simulator Challenge

leespoons gave a great performance this year with such lazy efforts as Remove the Logo and Advanced Last Minute CSSCGC Simulator, but it's for the finger-bleeding painfulness that is Advanced London Marathon Simulator Challenge that he takes this prize.

It really has been difficult to pick out a single entry that deserves this accolade and I would like to give an honourable mention, and my thanks, to the runners up; Rocks (Dr.Sputnik,) Choppy Bird (Chris Young) and Dongee Con (Yoshiatom.)

The Closing Ceremony

That's it. Stick a fork in me. I'm done!

There's just time for me to say; "Thanks" for having me as host, good luck in this year's competition and please stand for our National Anthem.

(Stay tuned on CSS and WoS for further CSSCGC 2015 announcements.)


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